“Here, have some tasteless, textureless baby-safe baby-snacks and sensible plain water from a baby-safe drinking cup,” says Mummy.
“No thanks,” says Rebel Baby, “I will drain the dregs from glass bottles and suck the life out of your gin-soaked lemon slices without flinching. In fact, I’ll eat the zest while I’m at it. I am hardcore like that.”
“OK,” says Mummy, “as long as you do it quietly.”