Buy cheap, buy twice…

Daddy is at work and Mummy has decided she is more than capable of upgrading the high chair on her own, in preparation for feeding the Little One all of her glorious creations.

Some time ago, Mummy spent a great deal of time researching high chairs and, undeterred by the buggy experience, settled upon an all-singing-all-dancing Scandinavian beauty which promised to take the baby from the womb to adulthood and teach it proper table manners on the way. Once Mummy has her heart set on something there is no dissuading her, but since Daddy wastes his time in the garden growing vegetables instead of properly working out how to grow money on trees, she was forced to buy one second hand. Daddy is not a fan of buying things second hand as he mistrusts Other People and also likes things that are new and shiny. “Buy cheap, buy twice,” says Daddy. Daddy is not thrifty like Mummy.

Luckily, a mint condition specimen with bonus attachments was available not too far away and Mummy was filled with love and happiness, for Mummy does love a bargain. She also loves a bit of planet-saving recycling… it is good for her sense of smug self-righteousness. And it helps offset the collection of misguided purchases that Amazon often bring her from China.

Mummy successfully replaces the ‘newborn’ attachment with the ‘baby set,’ and feels mightily pleased with herself. It takes her not too long to install the optional decorative fabric covers for RB’s comfort and delight, as Mummy wants only the best for her precious angel. Then, Mummy realises that the high chair has not come with a tray.

Obviously the tray is an essential piece of kit, so Mummy hotfoots it online to order the missing element. It is OK, thinks Mummy, for my bargainous purchase was so economically and environmentally saintly, ’tis but a trifle to quickly buy a tray. 

But trays are only compatible with baby set V2+, and this is baby set V1. No matter, thinks Mummy, this is only a minor hitch in my otherwise genius acquisition. I will just need the different baby set. 

Baby set V2+ is only compatible with models of chair from 2013 onwards, the website tells Mummy. Mummy has no idea how old the chair is and is forced to look up the serial number printed on the bottom, which Mummy has to dismantle the whole chair to access. Due to it nearly being worn off, she is forced to guess several of the digits, so decides to guess them in a favourable way that makes the chair compatible with the V2+ baby set.

The new baby set will not fit the decorative fabric covers. Sod the covers, thinks Mummy, I’d only have to wash them anyway. The website informs Mummy that to use the tray, she will also require extendable gliders. Mummy doesn’t even know what extendable gliders are, let alone why she needs them.

Now Mummy has spent nearly the cost of the high chair on updating the accessories for it, which may or may not fit. Even more galling than that, Daddy is going to gloat that he was right, that she should not be such a tight-fisted miser and should just buy things properly. Daddy is home from work in four hours, which means Mummy has exactly four hours to work out how she can make this his fault…

This chair is like Trigger’s broom!

One Comment

    Love this! Am really enjoying your insights into motherhood, and all things constructional!

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