Week 1: Wednesday

The hospital has made Mummy feel like a New Woman. Not only have the doctors finally listened to all of Mummy’s very serious and potentially fatal concerns, but Mummy and The Baby have been discharged with instructions that please Mummy greatly:

  1. Mummy must eat more. In fact, Mummy must eat more high calorie foods and very often. This strikes Mummy as possibly the most excellent piece of medical advice she has ever received, and one she will embrace wholeheartedly.
  2. The Baby should follow a feeding plan. Mummy does enjoy a good plan. She is already looking forward to making it into a spreadsheet with colour coding, and laminating it.

The Hospital People also hooked Mummy up to a strange milking machine and have told her she must do this regularly so she can make more milk, like a dairy cow. Daddy finds his very funny indeed and has skipped off to Boots to purchase one, for there is nothing Daddy likes more than shopping for technology. He has also started calling Mummy Daisy, which is less welcome.

Wednesday – around midnight

Rebel Baby was not listening to the briefing on The Plan. Rebel Baby has her own plan. Bugger.

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